De Niro vs. Pacino P&C

In honor of the new film The Righteous Kill, I thought it would be fitting to look at two of America’s most influential actors. While most people may be more concerned with the Kanye West arrest at LAX yesterday morning, the fans of true entertainment will be more concerned with the opening of this movie. So now is the time to look at the storied careers of two famous actors.

Robert De Niro
Highest IMDB ranking: #15 Goodfellas (1990)
Number of IMDB Acting Creditis: 77
Academy Awards: 2 (Best Actor in a Leading Role for: Raging Bull (1980)) & (Best Actor in a Supporting Role for: The Godfather: Part II (1974))

Al Pacino
Highest IMDB ranking: #2 The Godfather (1972)
Number of IMDB Acting Creditis: 45
Academy Awards: 1 (Best Actor in a Leading Role for: Scent of a Woman (1992))

But what fun would this be if only their praises were sung? There has to be low points in each of their careers…. Right? Correct! Here is where the fun begins.

Robert De Niro
Childhood Nickname: Bobby Milk (As manly as it gets right?)
Role to Forget: Det. Mitch Preston (Showtime (2002)) (Nominated for a Razzie)He starred in a buddy cop film with Eddie Murphy (On Murphy’s Decline).

It was about a reality TV show, wow. Sometimes even the brightest stars have a lapse of judgment and star with Eddie. At least he hasn’t been typecast…. Oh, wait for it… he did. Either a Detective/ Agent of some type, or a head of an organized crime group.

Al Pacino
Real Name: Alfredo (Like the pasta dish)
Role to Forget: Some guy in Gigli (Nominated for a Razzie)

Good Lord, I’d forgotten he was in Gigli. Gigli is widely considered the worst movie ever. The Godfather is widely considered the best movie ever. I guess he is the bookends of the cinematic world. He is also considered slightly crazy in some of his roles. Hoooah!

The two of them have also been in 3 movies together now; The Godfather Part II (1974), Heat (1995), and The Righteous Kill (2008). The first two were in my opinion great movies and should be considered two of the best of all time. They are #4 and #141 on IMDB’s top 250 list respectively. In my opinion Heat should be ranked significantly higher on the list. Maybe Val Kilmer’s presence in the movie brought it down. As the facts show, when you put these two actors together, greatness usually follows like a FBI tail.

5 Everyday deadly Bond Gadgets

First and foremost I have to say that Q was always my second favorite Bond character. However, did he ever think, “I bet James could really use this gadget if (insert random situation) were to ever occur.” But rather than dwelling in what should probably never happen, let’s examine what would happen if these gadgets made an appearance in our mild-mannered civilian lives, what kind of damage would they cause? Some gadgets like a God phone (Tomorrow Never Dies) or an Aston Martin (Lots) have zero drawbacks, well except for the fact that you will likely run over numerous attractive women throwing themselves at you while you drive the Aston Martin. Others… not so much.

1. Broom Walkie Talkie (License to Kill)

Immediate danger seems to be little to none, I mean how many brooming accidents do you hear about each year? Moving on from possible dusty-bristles-in-the-eye, this gadget poses a secondary threat. Let’s say you are sweeping your carport, and suddenly you are thirsty. Of course rather than wasting valuable sweeping time walking into the house, you radio in for assistance. Then your neighbor sees you radioing from your broom, and says, “So Carl, I guess you went all out and bought the Q16 Commune-O-Broom?” So your neighbor and you start talking about, “My wife is such a bitch…” or “Guess what Johnson, and by Johnson I mean my…” and you leave the receiver on so your wife hears. BAM, no sex ever again. Since the ratings are judged by potential bodily harm, this one is near the bottom. While blue balls or a kick to them are painful, as all guys know these things pass with time.

2. Electro-Magnectic RPM Controller (Diamonds Are Forever)

Hooray! Finally a ring that allows people to cheat on slot machines. Again you may be thinking, “How can a little ring hurt me?” That’s why this list exists. Again this ring may not be able to hurt you but the drawbacks of using it sure as hell can. Where would you use it? In a casino maybe? Yes. What happens to cheaters in casinos? They get the shit kicked out of them, and then the casinos get the cheaters kicked out of them. So if you put the pieces together, you use this ring on a slot machine. Then some security guards proceed to maul you. Good thing you only used it on the Nickel Slots… pussy.Big angry security guard, and a room full of people watching you get your ass kicked is pretty bad, but again as guys know, humiliation too passes with time. Ass beatings do too, it just takes longer.


3. Glass-Shattering Ring (Die Another Day)

You may know that broken glass can be a major danger in certain places or near your hands and appendages. So this ring’s function is solely to shatter glass, as the name suggests loosely. Think about the times during the day your hand touches glass, (Car windows, beer… the list goes on and on). Then, all of a sudden, BAM shattered glass in your hand and all around your person. Anyone who has seen Die Hard knows that shattered glass around bare feet can be the worst thing that happens all day, even when your hunting terrorists. There also does not seem to be any reason to have this in everyday life, because from day to day, it’s a rare occasion when glass has to be broken. Even more rare is the occasion when that glass has to be broken ASAP and super cool-like. Hell, if John McClane is scared of broken glass, shouldn’t we all be?

4. Magnetic Watch (Live and Let Die)

As far as a Bond Gadget Goes this one is not shown to it’s true potential. This magnet watch (as opposed to other ones) has the power to move a boat from about 40 ft. away. Imagine if you turned that on in your house, which Bond does. He uses it to pick up a tea spoon and unzip a classy lady’s dress. In reality small metal items from around your house would be flying at you from all directions. Good thing there are rarely sharp, knife-like objects in residential dwellings. To top it off, the magnetic effect would probably ruin your computer and TV too. Why would you even need a magnet-watch in the first place?

5. Pen Grenade (Goldeneye)

There isn’t too much explanation needed here. To quote Q, “This is a Class 4 grenade. Three clicks arms the four-second fuse, another three disarms it.” No one is sure what a class 4 grenade is. Google searches only came up with Q’s quote upon a search. Needless to say that during the second time writing with the pen, most people would be dead because they forgot they armed a grenade. Seeing as that is not a common thought when jotting down a note, these things could be fairly to very dangerous.

Top Pizza 5 Toppings, Pros and Cons (P&C)

Top Pizza 5 Toppings, Pros and Cons (P&C)

Seeing as this is the christening of the blog, I will address the blog as “The Maiden Voyage of the Good Ship Weis” or TMVOGSW for short. Fueled only by a Totino’s Pepperoni pizza, which is the same texture and consistency of a big, flat, round sponge, and a Cherry Coke, I will try to make it to the end before my pointless rambling becomes incoherent or worse.

Since we are only a few days removed from the first Sunday of NFL football, here is the pros and cons weighed for an important part of game day, pizza toppings.

1. PepperoniPros: Pepperoni is a manly topping, and generally recognized as a universal favorite. Well, unless someone is a vegetarian but then they don’t really have the right to be watching football and deciding what’s coming on the pie. Then again, no one really has a vegetarian-football-watching friend to begin with. Cons: Pepperoni in its prepizza form takes the shape of a dong. If you can’t get passed the donglike properties than you may have some sexuality issues you need to deal with. Regardless of that, sometimes places have shitty pepperoni. I’m talking about you Cho Pang Wang’s Italian Eatery.

2. SausagePros: Sausage makes the pizza ideal for the fact that you can eat it cold the next day for breakfast because it is generally a breakfast food. But seeing as watching football is generally viewed as an all day event, no pizza should make it passed the end of the 4PM(EST), 8PM(GMT) games. The bountiful use of spices makes this a good pick.
Cons: Everyone has a friend who “Isn’t a huge fan of sausage. No-homo.” Blatant homosexual reference aside, sausage, like pepperoni, also has the tendency to resemble a dong. It’s even a euphemism for one.

3. Ham
Pros: Ham tastes good. So to put it on something that already tastes good should be a no-brainer. Most people like ham so the choice should go over fairly well with the football watching crowd. With an added bonus, ham doesn’t look like a dong like the previous two. So no homosexual connotations can be construed from ham now can they?
Cons: No one gets ham on pizza. You’re friends will think you’re a tool shed.

4. Banana Peppers
Pros: A step toward the healthier lifestyle. Peppers add a nice kick to the pizza and their yellow green (or is it green yellow?) appearance makes the pizza even look classier. Unlike most pizza toppings, people who don’t like these on their pizza will avoid picking them off by not eating it at all. Then there’s more for you.
Cons: See #1 and #2 for “resembles a dong”.

5. Pineapple
Pros: A step away from the ordinary. Pineapple has a sweetness that cannot be matched by conventional pizza toppings. Your friends will think you’re hip and cool. And as a cool factoid, pineapples were actually used as weapons by the Hawaiians in the pre-colonial days (That isn’t actually true but they don’t know that…) Cons: Your friends might think you’re an idiot and not hip or cool. Tastes like crap.