First and foremost I have to say that Q was always my second favorite Bond character. However, did he ever think, “I bet James could really use this gadget if (insert random situation) were to ever occur.” But rather than dwelling in what should probably never happen, let’s examine what would happen if these gadgets made an appearance in our mild-mannered civilian lives, what kind of damage would they cause? Some gadgets like a God phone (Tomorrow Never Dies) or an Aston Martin (Lots) have zero drawbacks, well except for the fact that you will likely run over numerous attractive women throwing themselves at you while you drive the Aston Martin. Others… not so much.
1. Broom Walkie Talkie (License to Kill)
Immediate danger seems to be little to none, I mean how many brooming accidents do you hear about each year? Moving on from possible dusty-bristles-in-the-eye, this gadget poses a secondary threat. Let’s say you are sweeping your carport, and suddenly you are thirsty. Of course rather than wasting valuable sweeping time walking into the house, you radio in for assistance. Then your neighbor sees you radioing from your broom, and says, “So Carl, I guess you went all out and bought the Q16 Commune-O-Broom?” So your neighbor and you start talking about, “My wife is such a bitch…” or “Guess what Johnson, and by Johnson I mean my…” and you leave the receiver on so your wife hears. BAM, no sex ever again. Since the ratings are judged by potential bodily harm, this one is near the bottom. While blue balls or a kick to them are painful, as all guys know these things pass with time.
2. Electro-Magnectic RPM Controller (Diamonds Are Forever)
Hooray! Finally a ring that allows people to cheat on slot machines. Again you may be thinking, “How can a little ring hurt me?” That’s why this list exists. Again this ring may not be able to hurt you but the drawbacks of using it sure as hell can. Where would you use it? In a casino maybe? Yes. What happens to cheaters in casinos? They get the shit kicked out of them, and then the casinos get the cheaters kicked out of them. So if you put the pieces together, you use this ring on a slot machine. Then some security guards proceed to maul you. Good thing you only used it on the Nickel Slots… pussy.Big angry security guard, and a room full of people watching you get your ass kicked is pretty bad, but again as guys know, humiliation too passes with time. Ass beatings do too, it just takes longer.
3. Glass-Shattering Ring (Die Another Day)
You may know that broken glass can be a major danger in certain places or near your hands and appendages. So this ring’s function is solely to shatter glass, as the name suggests loosely. Think about the times during the day your hand touches glass, (Car windows, beer… the list goes on and on). Then, all of a sudden, BAM shattered glass in your hand and all around your person. Anyone who has seen Die Hard knows that shattered glass around bare feet can be the worst thing that happens all day, even when your hunting terrorists. There also does not seem to be any reason to have this in everyday life, because from day to day, it’s a rare occasion when glass has to be broken. Even more rare is the occasion when that glass has to be broken ASAP and super cool-like. Hell, if John McClane is scared of broken glass, shouldn’t we all be?
4. Magnetic Watch (Live and Let Die)
As far as a Bond Gadget Goes this one is not shown to it’s true potential. This magnet watch (as opposed to other ones) has the power to move a boat from about 40 ft. away. Imagine if you turned that on in your house, which Bond does. He uses it to pick up a tea spoon and unzip a classy lady’s dress. In reality small metal items from around your house would be flying at you from all directions. Good thing there are rarely sharp, knife-like objects in residential dwellings. To top it off, the magnetic effect would probably ruin your computer and TV too. Why would you even need a magnet-watch in the first place?
5. Pen Grenade (Goldeneye)
There isn’t too much explanation needed here. To quote Q, “This is a Class 4 grenade. Three clicks arms the four-second fuse, another three disarms it.” No one is sure what a class 4 grenade is. Google searches only came up with Q’s quote upon a search. Needless to say that during the second time writing with the pen, most people would be dead because they forgot they armed a grenade. Seeing as that is not a common thought when jotting down a note, these things could be fairly to very dangerous.
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